“YOU CAN’T CUT BACK ON FUNDING! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!”
I’ve played the entire SimCity franchise, starting with the original SimCity, up to SimCity 4. (I don’t really consider Societies a true successor; it was not developed by Maxis.) But SimCity 2000 has always stuck with me as being the best of the series. It certainly is the one I’ve spent the most time reticulating splines in.
SimCity is a city planning/building simulator. You are the mayor, and you start out with a big wad of cash. Your goal is to create and maintain a healthy, growing city. It is also immensely satisfying, after you create your sprawling urban utopia, to unleash a volley of aliens to destroy it.
When I initially wrote this review in July, the game was no longer available anywhere. And when I popped in my disc to play it, it wasn’t compatible with my fancy-pants new Windows 7 machine. And nothing I could do made it work. I was very sad.
When I was a lad, I built lots of stuff with Legos. (And when I wasn’t a lad.) Always impossibly big things that ate all of the Legos. Because building huge things is lots of fun.
Enter Minecraft.
Minecraft is about building things using cube-shaped blocks of different types. I like making things in Minecraft. On the server my friends play on, we like to build a sprawling underwater city. There have been six or seven of them over the last year, each one bigger than the last.
But it’s not all fun and games. There are nasty things that come out at night, and they love to break your stuff. Zombies punch you to death, skeletons shoot you with arrows, spiders bite you, endermen steal your blocks, and creepers blow you up. But what’s in your hand? I have it. It’s an iron sword. Look again. THE SWORD IS NOW DIAMONDS.
Or you could play Creative mode, and nothing bad will happen.
“I’m Guybrush Threepwood, and I wanna be a pirate!”
The Secret of Monkey Island is one of the classic LucasArts (yes, they did do stuff other than Star Wars) adventure games that everyone should play.
The game is as old as I am, heralding from the year AD 1990. Despite hearing great things about it for basically my entire life, I went 20 years without playing it. I finally got it when the special edition with fancy graphics was released.
You play Guybrush Threepwood, a young guy who wants to be a pirate. He seeks the Pirate Leaders on Mêlée Island, who send him on three quests to prove himself a pirate.
Along the way he meets, and falls hopelessly in love with, Elaine Marley, the governor of Mêlée Island. Unfortunately for Guybrush, the evil ghost pirate LeChuck already had his eyes on her. LeChuck kidnaps Elaine, and Guybrush sets out to rescue her.
The game is hilarious, filled with jokes from top to bottom. It also teaches advanced swordfighting techniques. If anyone ever insults you, be sure to tell them that they fight like a cow.
Hello viewers! Today, I’m going to tell you what y’all should buy yourselves this Christmas. The 12 games that I got the most fun out of. (Yes, I know that the 12 days of Christmas starts on Christmas Day, but you need to get these beforehand in order to stick them under your tree, right?)
Right! When I was a lad of six or seven, Chex Quest was the coolest thing in the world. I’ve played it so many times since then, I know the level layouts, including all secret areas, by heart. I could play the entire game in my head, if I wanted to.
You are Fred Chexter, a member of an elite force: Chex Squadron. Upon hearing of the invasion of the Bazoik colony by the Flemoids, evil cereal-eating creatures from another dimension, you volunteer to go in alone and rescue the trapped scientists.
‘sup, dudes? Did you miss me? Free time has been basically zero in the last month, and what little I did have I didn’t feel like spending on the WVR. I’ll get to the other missing ones eventually. YouTube videos don’t take very long to make a post about. Which is why they continued.